Broke.

That's how my heart is right now.

Seeing Angah like that..

I just couldn't stop myself from crying.

The doctor said, he has a very slim hope of living.

Sigh...

I always tell myself..

I always tell him..

"What would I do without him.."

"How am I suppose to live on my life without him being here ?"

Angah,

The one who always understand me even I hardly understand him.

The one who has the most beautiful and unique eyes ever.

The one who has the most bushy tail and the whitest fur with wet pink nose.

The one who I already considered as my little brother or even more than that.

The one who will always get one of the special place in my heart.

Tail and fur ? Yup, Angah is my most beloved cat..

I'm not being a lunatic over here.

Crying over a cat.

But just imagine,

You've been taking care of something for years.

But then you know that 'something' is suffering and dying.

If you wouldn't be affected by that..

Congrats for being able to be strong.

He was expected to be having FIP,

A fatal, incurable disease.

If human, FIP is some sort of killing cancer.

The word expected gives me a slight hope for him.

Don't worry dear, Kakak will always pray for you.

Be strong, honey !

For you and for me...

We tried our best,

But Allah who will plan everything.

All the living will come to an end.

Maybe Angah's time is already here.

But one thing for sure, my time is yet to come.

The difference is,

Angah has nothing to be worried about whether he's going to the heaven or the hell,

As for me, 

Yes, I have to think of that.

Am I ready for that?

I don't think so.

Done. Tears. Accept. Fullstop.

My love. Be strong !

p/s : Umi said, even Saidina Umar can accept Rasulullah's death. Why can't I accept if Allah said its Angah's time. This whole thing makes me think that, we plan, but Allah is the best of planners. We live our lives, but then for sure we will met our deaths when Allah said its time.